I’m Nicole Rosé, an entrepreneur & entertainer by birth, and one of the contestants on HBOMax’s new show The Big Shot with Bethenny. I’m the one she refers to as “crop top Coachella” for wearing a shirt with midriff to an “interview.” (True, not the brightest of choices but in fairness, it was a shapewear photoshoot challenge that day so I was more covered than most). Full disclaimer: I haven’t worked for anyone else or even in an office environment in 8 years so you can take some of my actions with a grain of salt.
I’m a firm believer in the fact that we are the creators of our own lives. Every single day, we make choices that determine the quality of our lives now and in the future. Every decision I’ve ever made for my business has been a calculated one (whether my math was on point or not is another story) but I’d like to share my revelations from this experience with you. And I hope that you can learn a thing or two to implement into your own lives and businesses.
Positivity ALWAYS Wins
If you look at life from a positive vantage point, you cannot lose. For instance, when I lost a challenge on The Big Shot with Bethenny, I focused on what I learned in the process & how it could improve my performance in the future. When you look at every situation through rose-colored lenses, you begin to see the upsides to everything and then every opportunity starts to look only like the upside. When this process takes over in your brain, you feel more confident attacking anything and everything.
Our brains are hardwired with a negative bias so proactively working to counteract this daily will help improve the quality of your life in all areas. Even just being aware of this bias gives you an advantage over others. The best part about positive thoughts is that they attract MORE positive thoughts. The worst part about negative thoughts is that they attract MORE negative thoughts. Have you ever gone down a spiral-like that or is it just me? That’s what I thought.
A negative bias is truly just a negative attention bias. And what you give your attention to determines your experience. To make positivity a regular occurrence, you can start by noticing when you have negative thoughts and letting them go. Just envision yourself throwing that crappy little thought into a trash can with all the other crappy little thoughts that you refuse to think anymore. You can also go a step further, and get out ahead of it by aligning your brain with positive content first thing in the morning when your brain is most receptive.
Tip: Build a morning routine that stimulates more positive thinking and helps to rewire your brain. This morning routine can include meditation, mantras, visualization, journaling or exercise, or some combination of the above. You can find more information on using your morning to manifest positive thoughts here.
Conquer Fear, Conquer The World
While there were times during filming where I was legitimately terrified, there were also times I was crying laughing. If they could show all the footage we took, you’d see many more calm BTS moments but unfortunately, that makes for boring TV, doesn’t it?
Facing fear is one of the most important things we can do in life to support our personal growth. Even learning a new skill like kiteboarding (my current outlet of choice ATM) can give you the confidence to start that new side hustle or speak up to your boss or …. (you fill in the blank). Every time you conquer something that scares you, you shift to a new level. You realize that fear is just an illusion. Once you’re operating from this next level version of yourself, this is your new baseline. Your capacity for fear and ability to overcome it rises permanently.
We have to always try new things, breakthrough limitations, breakthrough blocks- this is where the growth comes.
Tip: Challenge yourself once a week to try something new. Bonus points if it legitimately scares you!
Leave Your Ego in Shavasana
Your ego is your friend and your frenemy- all at the same time. Without some ego, I never would have signed up to compete on The Big Shot. I get messages every day from women and men who tell me that it was courageous and they hope to have that same level of confidence one day (sidebar: it’s not on accident…and I will help you uplevel too. Keep reading).
Our egos serve us until they don’t. When you need a boost of adrenaline, a little pep talk in the mirror is great. But one of the keys to succeeding in life is this: when you listen, you know what two people know. My father always used to say this before he passed and Bethenny alludes to this (in regards to me) many times at the beginning of the Big Shot. I know it sounds funny coming from the “loud-mouthed” character but I learned this: when you’re willing to tone down your voice, you can do some of your greatest learning.
Tip: When a situation ruffles your feather, catch it and ask yourself: is this a true, objective view of the situation or is my ego talking smack? If it’s your ego, throw those negative comments in the trash and re-evaluate!
Get a Mantra & Uplevel Your Mindset
I would be completely lying if I told you filming this show and competing for this job was easy. I’ve been in many high-profile, high-pressure situations and this was THE most demanding moment of my life. But, we can all take things to the next level if we are willing to work on ourselves.
You’ll notice, in the middle of the photoshoot in Episodes 2 & 3, I excuse myself to the bathroom. Sure, I shed a tear or two but then I wiped my face off, put myself back together, looked in the mirror, and reminded myself who TF I am: A TRUE QUEEN. A woman who loves and supports other women; a woman who goes high when they go low; a woman who believes in love and radiates love as best as she can in any circumstance.
This tactic got me through the competition. I used it any time I was feeling weak, or insecure or wanted to quit (yes, there was a moment where I called my mom and asked her to send an uber….). Anyone can use this same technique. All you have to do is create a mantra that’s meaningful to you, know what it stands for, what traits and values in your character should shine when you invoke the mantra, and then recognize when you need the boost so you can call it to the forefront.
Every single day you have to work on being the best version of yourself- it won’t happen by default. All the women in my manifestation mentorship have a mantra that they can use to align themselves during challenging moments. I suggest you do the same!
Tip: Build a mindset practice where you align your thoughts and feelings every single day to make sure you are giving off one unified message to the world. Your practice can include meditation, journaling, affirmations, mantras, or some combination of them. For more guidance, drop me an email or a DM.
Listen to Big Queen Energy
Watch me on HBO Max’s The Big Shot w/ Bethenny
DJ & Mentor @nicolerosestillings
Podcast Host @bigqueenenergypod
Unicef Board @unicefnextgen
